Sofia Vergara, the buxom "Modern Family" bombshell, does American men a bit of a favor in the April issue of Esquire. She offers some advice on how to keep a Latina woman happy. For starters, she insists, get a maid.
"I always tell my guy friends who are complaining that their Latina girlfriends want a maid: 'Listen, this is for your own good. You don't want a woman who is tired all day long, taking care of the kids, cooking, doing everything. She'll never be any fun,'" Vergara advises in the interview. "She'll never want to go out with you because she'll be exhausted. She'll never want to sleep with you. So this is an investment you're making for your love life. Think of it that way." Not that Vergara would ever tire herself out cooking. On the contrary, she admits she has no idea how.
"I didn't know how to make coffee when I came to the United States. Because in Colombia the maids do it," explains the 39-year-old. "A mother tells the maids what to cook. The mothers are like conductors of the household. But they're not really doing it."
One of the biggest surprises Vergara says she found when she made the move to the States actually took place on the beach … when she saw the bathing suits American women were wearing.
"I was like, What is that? It's like a diaper. It's terrible. Who can look good in that? When I moved to the United States, I used to have bathing suits brought up from Colombia," she says. "There's nothing slutty about a dental-floss bikini. You don't even think about it. The first bathing suit your mother buys you is in the shape of a triangle."
In Hollywood, a place that celebrates stick-thin women who wear a size 0, Vergara — and all of her sensuous curves — have been a breath of fresh air. But in Colombia, she says her body type is more the norm. OK, probably not the norm, but more in line with the average woman than, say Angelina Jolie's figure. "In Colombia everybody's very voluptuous and you're supposed to be. You don't want to be skinny when all of your cousins are mermaids. You grow up thinking that's how beauty is," the actress shares.
The vivacious Vergara, who's currently dating 35-year-old politician Nick Loeb, leaves readers with one final piece of advice on love: "I guess at the end of the day, all women like to be appreciated and treated with respect and kindness," she says. "We all want to have sex in a romantic way. But with a Latina, you're going to have more fun."
And with Sofia, chances are you probably will.
More Celebrity Features on Yahoo!:
- One Way ANYONE Can Look like Sofia Vergara
- Sofia Vergara to host 'Saturday Night Live'
- Sofia Vergara on her Makeup, Hair, and Clothes (Watch)
Test your celebrity smarts with "Starlicious!