‘The Bachelor’ finale recap: And to All a Good Night

‘The Bachelor’ finale recap: And to All a Good Night
Raven and Vanessa meet Nick's family before he makes his final choice

Welcome to my dramatic three-hour live season finale recap of The Bachelor! (Much like the first two hours of this show, this recap is actually neither live nor is it all that dramatic.) Here, we’ll find out whether Nick chooses the woman who loves him too much or the one who doesn’t love him enough. Also, we’ll get Santa’s thoughts on all of this because, if nothing else, he’s known for his matchmaking abilities.

Back in Finland, it’s time for Raven to meet Nick’s family, who are less than enthused about having to fly all the way to Finland to go through all this AGAIN. They barely even cheer when Nick walks through the door, but the minute dad hears Raven’s name, he’s IN. Remember their riveting conversation about her name?! Well, he does, and he’s looking forward to learning more.

Bella is the first family member to get a one-on-one chat with Raven, and all she wants to know is if Raven loves Nick. Raven says she does, and Bella’s made her choice: She’s #TeamRaven all the way, telling Raven, “I hope he picks you.” (Spoiler: That’s going to make for an awkward conversation later.)

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Raven then reassures Nick’s father that she’s in love with his son, but dad is more interested in how his son feels, a.k.a. the thing Raven wants to know more than anything but can’t. Rubbing her face in her vulnerability, dad asks, “How do you think Nick feels?” And when Raven tries to talk around the answer, he gets more direct: How does he feel towards you? Well, Raven thinks he’s falling in love. “Has he said that?” Dad interrupts. Damn, man. Step off. Of course he hasn’t said that; it’s against the rules. You know that, dad! You’ve done this three times!

At the end of it all, Raven says she’s hoping for a proposal, and suddenly, dad sees a maturity in her that he’s never seen before. (Probably because before you asked her questions like, “How’d you get your name?”) Now, he thinks Raven could be a great partner for Nick.

With dad in her back pocket, Raven chats with mom and reassures her that her “flame” with Nick has been “effortless.” And for mom, she sees Raven as someone who’s incapable of hurting another person — she doesn’t know the stiletto story — so she feels good about Raven.

Chatting with Nick, mom remembers the No. 1 rule of good parenting: Just when your child is feeling most vulnerable, be sure to remind them of their past failures, otherwise known as, “Kick your child when they’re down.” Mom, citing how confident Nick was about Kaitlyn — you know, before she dumped him for another man — asks how Nick can know if something will work? Well, he can’t, mom, but thanks for asking. And yet, he thinks it’s all worth it for the slight chance that he could walk out of here with a woman who is both smart AND intelligent.

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The next day, it’s Vanessa’s turn to meet the family, and someone clearly gave dad a head’s up because he ditches his glasses for contacts to look his best. While Nick grabs Vanessa, his family shows their faith in him by reminding us all that the women can still say no, and given Nick’s track record, there’s a good chance he’s unlovable. Talk about a support system!

When Vanessa finally enters, dad is thrilled that he ditched the glasses as he tells Vanessa he wants to know “everything” about her. Calm down there, sparky. She tells them all about her love of her job, her family, her friends, and basically HER LIFE IN CANADA, in case Nick wasn’t listening. She then remembers that time she vomited on her first date with Nick, after which, she claims that the way he looked at her made her feel something she’d been searching for for years. (Apparently, she’s been looking for a lot of love with just a touch of disgust.)

When Vanessa gets choked up talking about it, Nick’s sister (?) has to yell at him, “This is where you chime in and finish it up because she’s having a moment.” So let’s hope Vanessa’s ready for a life with someone who’s not great with social cues.

Talking with Nick’s mom, Vanessa says she’s in love with Nick, but more than that, she’s hoping Nick’s mom can help her find answers. Vanessa asks the mother of the man she’s hoping to marry if it’s normal that she doesn’t feel 100 percent ready to be engaged. Making sure Nick’s mom feels super confident in their relationship, Vanessa tells her she’s not sure they’re ready for the next chapter. “What if there’s still so much for us to learn about each other?” Vanessa says about the man she’s only known for a few months. “I hope you get the answer,” Nick’s mom replies, meaning, I don’t have it, honey!

From Nick’s mom to his sister, Vanessa expresses her desire to never leave Canada. She’d be the first person in her family to leave! But unfortunately for Vanessa, Nick’s sister doesn’t have the answers either. Instead, she directs Vanessa to ask Nick those questions while she still has time. (At this point, let’s hope Nick’s sister comes as part of the relationship deal, because she’s already playing a crucial part in coaching these two.)

NEXT: Nick’s mom is #TeamVanessa