13 People on Witnessing the Birth of Their Child in All Its Gory Glory

Photo credit: Hearst Owned
Photo credit: Hearst Owned

From Cosmopolitan

It’s fair to say that creating, carrying, and then literally birthing a tiny person is nothing short of superhuman. And to every person out there who’s done it: major kudos. Y’all are my heroes because that one video we all had to watch in high school anatomy class (you *know* the one) was enough to scar me for life.

Speaking of the video, what about the supportive folks witnessing the angel bbs emerging out of a human body? If even the idea of watching someone give birth is a lot…what about when you’re there in person? TBH, it kind of sounds like a perfect, beautiful, and absolutely terrifying horror movie. Like a Dr. Pimple Popper vid but just replace the cyst with a baby? Eh, too far.

On that note, we asked 13 people to get totally real with us about what it’s like to be there in all the glorious grittiness of childbirth. Be ready for some of the most precious and adorable details—as well as bloody ones. Welcome to life, my friends!!

1. “I was a little nervous because I didn’t have any control. I tried to keep remembering that my main job was to support my wife because I knew once I had our baby, it’d all be worth it.” —Chris, 33

2. “We didn’t know the [sex] of our baby. As my daughter was being born, I felt like I was in a movie. Everything around me blurred and I felt like was in slow motion while I was trying to see the [sex] of our child. I’ve never been so happy once we found out we had a girl. It was one of the best experiences of my life.” —Melissa, 30

3. “So birth is raw and honestly not a pretty sight. It’s worth it, though, when you see your baby for the first time. Everything before that is gross.” —Jordan, 25

4. “I was scared for my wife and baby girl, of course. All I wanted was for my daughter to be a healthy baby and for my wife to get through with no issues. But once my daughter came out and I heard her cries, it was the best of moment of my life.” —AJ, 33

5. “Apparently, I was crying so hard I could barely stand—I don’t remember that. What I remember is the screaming red child, the way the exact pitch of his voice had an immediate and indescribable meaning to me, the way he plugged into my chest in a very exact and deliberate way and instantly fell asleep.” —Alexandra, on watching a surrogate give birth to her son

6. “The birth of our first child smelled like beef jerky.” ­—Jordan, 32

7. “I watched my wife tear apart like tissue paper! I didn’t know skin could do that. The midwife moved the mirror real fast but I still saw it all.” ­—Nano, 30

8. “I’d heard several people say they couldn’t bear to watch their wives give birth, so I had no idea what to expect. Blood? Poop? Blood and poop? As I watched my first daughter come into the world, though, I experienced the following emotions in this order: (1) Tears. So many tears. I had never cried like that, and I don’t think I’ve cried that hard since. (2) Why is my child blue? Is she supposed to be blue? Can we get a doctor in here who will acknowledge the fact that my daughter is blue? Is she okay? Oh, she’s crying, okay, we’re good. (3) Holy crap, my wife is a badass. She just pushed a human out of her body! Thank god men aren’t the ones giving birth because we’d have gone extinct millennia ago!” ­—Stephen, 32

9. “I would rather go through that much pain and work myself than watch my wife go through it. Watching the person you love be in that much pain and knowing it’s partly your fault is horrible.” ­—Craig, 30

10. “Watching my wife give birth was exhausting, which isn’t something you’re really allowed to say when you’re not the one pushing out a baby, but it’s true. For almost 24 hours, I had to push on my wife’s back and let her squeeze my hand during contractions. Sometimes, I literally had to hold her up, and I was so tired I was literally falling asleep during contractions. When our baby finally arrived, I felt like I got hit by a truck. My wife got this crazy burst of energy from all the birth endorphins, but not me. I have never been so tired in all my life.”­ —Thomas, 31

11. “I was determined to not get freaked out during the delivery of our first child. I had heard the horror stories, taken the classes, and seen the videos. My mindset was basically: Get over it, dude. Your part is easy. If my wife can endure an all­-natural childbirth in an eerily zen-like state, then I sure as heck better be able to hang for the grand finale. Our midwife asked if I wanted to catch the baby, and I couldn’t have been more excited and nervous—What if I drop him?! I thought. I shook off the fear, gloved up, and assumed my best (and first) baby-­catching stance. Once he started to crown, I remember thinking, That doesn’t look so bad. Then my wife pushed again and I realized that what I thought was crowning was just the tip of the tip of the iceberg—total cannonball in a drinking straw situation. OHMYGODHOW?!?! I thought. THERE’SNOFREAKINGWAY. But come he did, as perfectly as anyone could wish for. I handed him to his mom, cut the cord, and was suddenly, officially, a dad. I learned several things that day, two of them being: My son inherited his mother’s family’s enormous head gene and that liberal, diligent use of mineral oil might be the actual miracle of childbirth.” —Nathan, 37

12. “I stayed behind the curtain during my wife’s C-­section. But after our son was ripped out of her abdomen, I went around to watch them weigh him. I accidentally looked at my wife and OHMYGOSH there is a gaping dark hole in my wife!!! Why did I look!?!”­ —Eugene, 35

13. “Watching my wife bring our son into the world and, consequently, his birth was one of the most stunning, ineffably beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I have a hard time understanding why men would look away or find it harmful to their romantic relationship later on. Women are human transformers, and childbirth is without doubt one of the best examples of this fact. I always tell people they can delete photos and footage, but they can never go back in time to recreate it. Trust me, now or later, you’ll want that experience captured. It’s the moment your whole life changed.” —Charlie, 34

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