What Nobody Tells You About Turning 30

By Annie Tomlin

All Illustrations By Anna Sudit.

All things considered, being in one’s 30s is fantastic. You finally know who you are, you’re starting to make serious strides in your career, and you’re generally kicking ass. “You couldn’t pay me to go back to my 20s,” you and your friends probably declare while sipping wine. (The good stuff, because, hey, you’re a grown-up. Also, the cheap vino gives you a headache these days.)

As wonderful as this time is, it’s also a decade of self-discovery — and we don’t mean in the personal-growth, know-thyself way. Nope, we’re talking about that first morning when you look in the mirror and think, “Wait, why do I look so tired when I got plenty of sleep?” Or, that moment when your fingers brush your chin, only to feel a stiff little whisker sticking out. And, it’s hard not to feel a little unsettled by the discovery of that first gray hair (no, we’re not talking about the hair on your head).

The 30s are great, but we certainly didn’t see some of these skin, hair, and dental changes coming. These shifts aren’t bad, per se — a few are things to look forward to! — but they definitely deserve your attention. Getting older is a good thing, we say, but it’s even better when you know what to expect.

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Surreptitiously, your body has been planning wrinkles.
Most of us have heard that our bodies produce less collagen as we get older, and you’ll start to see what that really means. “People might start to see wrinkles that they didn’t have when they smile,” says Amy Wechsler, MD, a board-certified dermatologist in New York City. “When they stop smiling, the lines are still hanging out, when they used to go away.” (Remember how Mom used to say your face would “stick like that?” She was right.)

Dr. Wechsler says that in your 30s, prevention is key if you want to minimize wrinkles down the road. “If you’ve been really good about SPF, you’ll reap so many benefits,” she says. “I see women who look 10 years younger than their age-matched counterparts, because they haven’t been smoking and sunning.” Even if you slacked off and partied hard during your 20s, it’s not too late to protect your future skin. SPF 30 (at least), on your skin, every day — yes, even in winter and even when it’s cloudy.

Sure, your hair is starting to go gray.
You knew that would happen, right? Here’s what you may not have expected: a shift in hair texture. “There are many variables that make for texture changes,” says Stephen Pullan, a trichologist at the Philip Kingsley hair and scalp clinic in New York City. “The biggest is genetic — your hair has a life to go through.” In other words, if Mom’s hair became coarse as it went gray, yours will likely do the same. It’s not just about your body aging, though. In your 30s, your hormone levels are fluctuating. “It’s pre-pre-pre-menopausal in most, but it’s still a change in hormones, and that can change the texture,” Pullan explains. Over time, our female hormones drop while male hormones rise — and with more stress, this happens even faster.

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But, your, uh, body hair also starts turning silver.
And, we’re not talking about the hair on your arms. Yep, get ready to start sprouting lighter pubic hair. If you’ve been thinking of undergoing laser hair removal, book that consultation, ASAP — lasers won’t work on white or gray hair.

If you decide to have a baby, your hair will seem worse after pregnancy — but it’s not.
Pregnant women are envied for their glowing skin and thick, lustrous hair. It’s all thanks to the surge of estrogen, Pullan says. “People like the thicker hair, and there’s less oil, so the whole hair and scalp feel better.” If you become pregnant, enjoy — this will indeed be the best hair of your adult years.

After giving birth, though, many women report thinner, less glossy strands. However, that’s all about perception, since your body is shifting its hormone levels back to normal. “It’s not any worse than it was before the pregnancy,” Pullan says. In other words, this is merely how you looked before getting pregnant. (Only now, you’ll also be exhausted when a tiny human wails for milk at four in the morning.)

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Hair fall becomes a thing.
Over time, your hair may start to thin — and it’s not necessarily a sign to freak out. Pullan notes that all of us lose hairs each day, and the number is largely dictated by genes. “Some people lose as few as 40, and others lose double that,” he says. “That’s all normal, but if you see a change in your pattern, that could be a problem.”

If you notice more hair falling out, it may be a sign that the sins of your 20s are finally showing up. As an example, Pullan points to a poor diet. “Say you’ve been borderline anemic — you miss breakfast and you’ve been doing that all your life, but suddenly your hair is suffering because it’s not getting enough protein or iron.” Pullan recommends a professional assessment and even blood work to understand the cause of your hair loss — and to do it sooner rather than later. “It’s better to be preemptive and keep what you have,” he says.

Going platinum isn’t so easy anymore.
You’ve been coloring and flat-ironing your hair for ages — so why is it suddenly breaking when it didn’t before? The hair that’s growing in just isn’t as resilient, says Pullan. “Sometimes, people [overdo it] with color, bleaches, straightening, and perming,” he notes. “You can get away with it when you’re younger, but as the hair is beginning to be affected by other factors such as stress and hormonal changes, it can’t take that abuse as much.”

Pullan is quick to note that women in their 30s can, of course, still use heat tools and undergo chemical hair treatments. “But, it has to be done smartly,” he says. That means minimizing the hair’s exposure to heat and choosing gentler dye — think subtle highlights instead of all-over platinum — to protect your strands’ health.

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Enjoy Cara D brows while you can.
It’s easy to take bold, bushy brows for granted — until one day, they’re not as full as they used to be. Once you hit your 30s, you may notice that after tweezing or waxing, your brows don’t grow back the same way. “If you over-pluck your hair anywhere, over time you’ll damage the follicle, and your brows will grow less,” Dr. Wechsler says. (Yet another reason to be conservative with your brow grooming.)

What if your lashes aren’t as full as they used to be? In your 30s, Dr. Wechsler says, it’s uncommon to see fewer or thinner lashes; at this age, it could be a sign of an illness such as thyroid disease. If health issues are ruled out and you’re still in search of Bambi lashes, the prescription lash lengthener Latisse may be an option, or you could try lash extensions.

Facial hair: It’s not just for dudes anymore.
Yes, we’re talking about the hair on your chinny-chin-chin. A little fuzz is normal, says Dr. Wechsler, but she acknowledges the fact that many women feel uncomfortable when they sprout facial hair. “Some women have the genetics to be hairy in general,” she says. “One chin hair is usually no problem, but more than one can feel masculinizing.”

A lone whisker here or there is nothing to worry about (and, in our opinion, can be addressed with a pair of tweezers). But, if your face suddenly goes from smooth to hirsute, it may be time to see a doctor. “If there’s a sudden onset, I recommend checking hormonal levels,” Dr. Wechsler says. “Facial hair may be a sign of polycystic ovarian syndrome.”

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