The Crazy Reason This Man Never Wants To Orgasm

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This is not something we would wish on our worst enemy. (Photo: Getty Images)

Everyone who remembers their mid-teen years knows what being lovesick feels like (even though most of us would rather forget). But for a handful of men, love — or the physical act of it, anyway — literally makes them sick. We’re talking fevers-and-chills, can’t-concentrate-on-anything, too-tired-to-move sick. From orgasms.

The condition, known as postorgasmic illness syndrome (POIS), is rare, mysterious, and devastating for men who suffer from it. People with the disorder develop moderate to severe flu-like symptoms and/or cognitive problems within minutes or hours of having an orgasm.

“These symptoms last for about three to seven days,” says Marcel D. Waldinger, MD, PhD, neuropsychiatrist and professor in sexual psychopharmacology at the University of Utrecht in the Netherlands. “After they go away the man feels normal, but as soon he has an ejaculation it starts all over again,” Waldinger tells Yahoo Health.

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So what’s life with POIS actually like? A fascinating new case study on the first Chinese man to be diagnosed with the disorder, published recently in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, provides some telling insights.

The man, age 61, came to the allergy department of Peking Union Medical College Hospital in Beijing with an unusual complaint: For the past 40 years, within an hour of having an orgasm, he would begin feeling as if he had just caught the flu.

According to the study, his symptoms included “perspiration, muscle tension in the lower limbs, difficulty concentrating, general irritability, memory problems, foggy feeling in the head, nasal congestion, sneezing and runny nose, sore throat, itching eyes, and photophobia [vision sensitivity to light].” This would last for about a week, when the problems would suddenly disappear.

Not surprisingly, his sex life suffered. He had a healthy level of sexual desire. But he was so fearful of triggering the dreadful symptoms, the study says, that he eschewed sexual activity with his wife of 30 years.

“As a consequence [of their symptoms], these men start to avoid sexual activity or only have sexual contact when they have no obligations the next few days,” Waldinger says. “Most of these men get difficulties at work, with their studies at school or university, and obviously also in their relationship.”

In a study of 45 Dutch men with POIS symptoms, almost all of the subjects confessed that they worried about their relationship with their sex partner. Many of the men interviewed also felt guilty.

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Only about 50 worldwide cases of POIS have been published in medical literature. Internet forums, though, are full of individuals — mostly men, but some women — who say that they suffer from POIS. “The number of self-reported cases in internet forums is growing rapidly,” the authors of the Chinese case study write. “It is likely that POIS might be underrecognized and underdiagnosed.”

The Office of Rare Diseases Research, part of the U.S. National Institutes of Health, acknowledges POIS is a rare condition. Most doctors, however, have never heard of it, Waldinger says. “As POIS is unknown to the majority of medical specialists, it is not recognized [in patients], and physicians give other diagnoses like stress, conversion, hysteria, etc. All wrong diagnoses,” he says. “This makes these men feel alone, misunderstood, and more desperate.”

Research on POIS is currently in its infancy, but experts have presented several working theories on how the syndrome occurs. Waldinger’s hypothesis says that POIS is an autoimmune disorder, where symptoms are triggered by the body’s immune response to semen as it leaves the testes. (Studies show that when men with POIS come close to orgasm without ejaculating, they don’t develop the unpleasant symptoms characteristic of the disorder.) Waldinger’s lab is currently performing research to test his theory, and the early findings support the autoimmune hypothesis, he says.

It’s important to note that POIS is different from semen allergy, which causes a localized itchy rash where the skin comes in contact with ejaculatory fluid. In contrast, POIS triggers body-wide symptoms such as fever and chills.

How to Find Help

There are currently no well-established treatment options for POIS. (One small study showed that desensitization therapy could help, but that involves being injected under the skin with your own semen every week for several years. Yeah, we didn’t think you’d be interested.) But it’s still possible to take steps to improve quality of life, romantic relationship, and sex life.

If you’re reading this and think you might have POIS, talk with your doctor, sex therapist Ava Cadell, PhD, founder of sexpert.com and author of Neuroloveology, tells Yahoo Health. Even though your local MD may not be familiar with POIS specifically, he or she should take your concerns seriously, perform a thorough diagnosis to rule out other conditions, and address other issues that may be affecting your sexual health. Need a doc? The Genetic and Rare Diseases Information Center offers a guide on how to find someone who specializes in rare conditions.

Finally, don’t hide what you’re going through from your main squeeze, Cadell stresses. “It’s important to talk with your partner about it so that your partner doesn’t think it’s his or her fault,” she says. “This can create animosity and unnecessary rejection.” Cadell also suggests joining a support group or reading blogs and online forums to connect with people going through similar experiences. You may also want to consider seeing a counselor or sex therapist for expert advice, she adds.

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