On this week’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, our A plot is season two of E!’s critically acclaimed show Rob & Chyna; our B plot is “ex-boxes”; and our C plot is Kris and Caitlyn Jenner’s relationship. You already know, hunnies — #LEGGO.
Scene 1/Cold Open:
The show opens with supermodel Kendall Jenner eating one literal cup of chili and refusing shredded cheese because that’s the stuff that makes you “fat.” Her mother, Kristen Jenner, admires her willpower but admits that she will be having cheese on her chili since the photos from most recent photo shoot are “in the can,” allowing her the opportunity to eat all the shredded cheese she would like. While her mom talks, Kendall realizes that she’s made a huge mistake by eating the chili — just an hour ago she got her teeth whitened and was explicitly told to avoid tomatoes. Kris tries to help Kendall cope, explaining that she made that chili herself with fresh, preservative-free tomatoes. Kendall tells Kris that preservatives are not the issue; the issue is that she just stained her freshly destained teeth. As there’s nothing Kendall is willing to do to fix her error, she and her mom bare their teeth to one another, and Kendall drinks from a water bottle that has a toothbrush placed inside of it, without mentioning the toothbrush at all. Talk about a dirty mouth! This scene was filmed on October 31, 2016.
Kendall Jenner joins her baby sister, Kylie Jenner, for a photo shoot for their Kendall + Kylie clothing line. After these two grown women model their junior fashions, Kylie takes a call from her mom. Kris tells Rob and Chyna’s landlord, Kylie, that there has been a possible domestic disturbance at her home. You see, Kylie, who has evolved past the cringeworthy relationship drama between herself, her boyfriend, her brother, and her brother’s girlfriend, has allowed Rob and Chyna to shack up in “one of” her old homes. Apparently, during a fight with Rob, Chyna threw something at Kylie’s TV (generously left behind). Kylie finds Chyna’s behavior disrespectful and decides to make a home visit to check on her tenants. The only thing is, Kylie’s at work and can’t leave immediately, so she calls the family’s lead Security Member and Kris Jenner’s sex companion, Corey Gamble. Corey has already visited the scene and was troubled by what he saw. He claims that Chyna was unhinged and even had missing nails — not missing fake nails, missing real nails. Kylie, in the comfort of her relationship with bathroom-trashcan liner Tyga, says that Rob’s situation with Chyna is “sad” and won’t end well. This scene was filmed on December 15, 2016.
Kimberly West and the Only Black Man in Calabasas, Corey Gamble, rush to Rob’s home after yet another domestic disturbance with Chyna. Only this time, Rob has broadcast their drama on Snapchat and Instagram for every prying eye to see. Once Kim and Corey arrive, they’re greeted by both Rob and the police, who Kim thinks Chyna called to be “funny.” Rob, who posted about Chyna taking their baby and all of their belongings right before Christmas, seems more concerned with people thinking he was drunk in his Snaps (he doesn’t even drink).
Kim and Corey don’t even comment, because his Snaps not only sounded drunk, but also like he ate an entire carton of Gushers made from absinthe and quaaludes. As far as his motives for posting his drama, Rob just wanted the world to know what she had done to him and that he was hurt. Corey and Kim both tell Rob that this has to be the final straw with Chyna because she obviously doesn’t care about him. In her confessional, Kim admits that she and Chyna have a better relationship than Chyna does with a lot of the family — but it’s no secret that this is an unhealthy relationship that shouldn’t be happening. After hearing her brother talk at length about trying to better himself for Chyna, Kim all but slaps him upside the head to remind him that she’s in the wrong. This scene was filmed on December 17, 2016.
At Kourtney Kardashian’s mansion, Kim, Khloé, and Kourtney talk about exes and “ex-boxes.” If you’re unaware, these are boxes in which you keep mementos from former relationships. Both Kourtney and Kim have ex-boxes, but Khloé does not and doesn’t think she’d want one. Recently, she asked her assistant to toss photos from her wedding to Lamar, which floored her sisters. Unlike her kin, Khloé is more into looking up photos of her exes online when she feels like having a memory.
Kim wants her sister to be more sentimental, so they head upstairs to look at Kourtney’s ex-box. Kourtney has tons of photos with Scott, as well as a long, long letter from another ex begging to get her back after acting like an asshole. Khloé’s really into the letter, reading it line by line for her very uninterested sisters. After the letter’s conclusion, Kim tells her sisters that her ex-box is mainly focused on one ex — TJ, better known as Michael Jackson’s nephew and Tito Jackson’s son. Khloé asks about the others and Kim giggles, saying that they didn’t take any pics together. Netflix, get your girl a special now. This scene was filmed on February 7, 2017.
At Khloé’s house, Kim notices an odd mark on Kylie’s stomach and happily diagnoses her sister with psoriasis. Excited to be even more like Kim, the two embrace, bonded forever by psoriasis and lip kits. Moving on, Kim asks the group, including Khloé and Kourtney, if they should call Rob because he seems to be back with Chyna. The sisters cite seeing Rob and Chyna in New York together as evidence. When they call their brother, he seems agitated that they’re concerned about the current status of his relationship. Khloé reminds Rob that Chyna texted all of his sisters promising not to get back with him until he gets his “shit together,” and that she has a habit of bad-mouthing him at every turn. Rob tells them to stop being stupid and hangs up on them.
After the call, the girls talk about how toxic the relationship is and Kylie, who is practically the stepmother to Rob’s baby-mother’s other child, calls him “delusional.” Khloé reasons that he’s always had grand ideas of raising a baby in a two-parent, stable home, but he now needs to adjust to his new reality. This scene was filmed on January 5, 2017, which is interesting because Rob and Chyna were in New York ten days later on January 15.
Back at Khloé’s Kompound, she shows her sister Kim a cake her “girls” (assistants) got to celebrate her name reversal from Odom back to Kardashian. The cake is a massive driver’s license, and color me insane, but I LOVE IT! Kim didn’t come to just stare at a cake, though; she’s all business, her ex-box in tow to show Khloé. In front of an amazed and slightly disgusted Khloé, Kim pulls out memories from her past with TJ, which is essentially a box of souvenirs from Neverland Ranch. The best contents of Kim’s ex-box are what appears to be a chicken’s foot from one of Michael Jackson’s videos (she doesn’t remember which, so DON’T ASK), a confidentiality agreement, and the Chicken McNugget box from her first date with TJ. Khloé calls “70 percent” of Kim’s box “burn-worthy.” This scene was filmed on February 9, 2017.
At the family’s second kitchen, Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, Kris gathers her family to discuss the future or Rob and Chyna’s show, Rob & Chyna. Before diving into Rob’s only job, Kim asks Kris to direct her attention to “that hoe over there,” Kylie Jenner, whose latest trick in dethroning her is contracting psoriasis. Kris hopes that’s not the case and prays for ringworm, while Kylie places her bets on a bad rash.
Shockingly, Rob couldn’t deign to darken the door of a Steakhouse, so the family calls him to talk about the fate of his show. Kim and the rest explain that they’re experts in this field, and tell Rob that they’ve all been where he is (presumably, dealing with a toxic relationship and show). Almost everyone agrees that he and Chyna should not film a season two. Once Rob is off of the phone, all present family members continue talking about the show, which drives Kendall to the brink of her contractual obligations. She screams that her family should get their heads together and recognize that a show should not be a part of the Rob-relationship or mental-health conversation. Forgetting she birthed this child, Kris yells, “Hey! Hey! Hey!” and reminds Kendall that the show got Rob out of bed. Kim and Kourtney add reminders of their own: that the show is a “job.” Kendall silences herself, but her breakdown is affirmed when the table finally completely agrees that the show would be a poor choice. Like Scene 7, this scene was filmed on January 5, 2017.
Kris, in an effort to maintain a decent relationship with the parent of her children, invites Caitlyn Jenner over for good face masks. In not even an ounce of glam, Kris reminisces with Caitlyn, remembering how she used to accuse her children of stealing her makeup when it was really Caitlyn all along. Caitlyn laughs it off, saying she still has bags of her makeup at home. On the tables getting facialed, Kris and Cait struggle to make conversation and end up just talking about Cait, which seems to make the new author happiest. Cait tells Kris that she’s been signing her name a lot because her book is done and she’d like Kris to read it. Kris agrees, and then Cait jokes that this girl thing is a lot of work. Overall, the former couple has fun together, with Kris telling Cait she’s always welcome to come over for a glass of wine. This scene was filmed on January 5, 2017.
Any progress Kris and Caitlyn made during their spa day flies out the window when Kris reads her ex’s book. To her shocked children, Kris says that Caitlyn wrote a memoir full of lies alleging Kris knew Caitlyn identified as a woman before the two of them even made love. According to Kris, Caitlyn also wrote that Kris was only nice once, during a party. Unclear as to why she’s always painted as the villain in Caitlyn’s mind, Kris says she’s “done” and “DUNZO.” Her kids agree that Cait is canceled. This scene was filmed on February 10, 2017.
At Kim’s house, Rob arrives for a meeting with Kim and Kourtney. Kim invited Rob over to talk a bit more sense into him about why a second season of his show is a bad idea. The sisters remind Rob that the show will invite millions of opinions into his life, which will further strain his relationship. Rob hears their opinions but reminds them that this is his life and he’ll work it out on his own. Shockingly, his sisters agree to back off because they don’t want this to cause to be a larger family issue. Unfortunately there’s no firm statement on the future of Rob & Chyna so we’ll just have to wait with the most bated of breath, but mainly assume it’s cancelled. This scene was filmed on February 8, 2017.
At last, that’s it for us tonight, Dolls. Stay prayed and caught up, and meet me next week for another #KUWTKE recap of Keeping Up With Chyna’s Real Nails. #Psoriasisters.
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