Is This Why You Just Can’t Quit SoulCycle?

The trance-like tunes and methodical pedaling are addictive, but this writer shares why she really books a bike every Monday.

By Alyssa Shelasky

She looked me in the eyes and moaned. I smiled back exuberantly, too exuberantly, a move I regretted a millisecond later. You shoulda played it cooler. You shoulda been coquettish, I thought to myself. We were both half-naked and dripping in sweat. I imagined her perspiration smelling like salted caramel ice cream and feminism. She MUST be a Scorpio. All these rendezvous in dark rooms lit by grapefruit candles and inner-glow, and we don’t even know each other’s names—well, I don’t know her real name—and yet, she is my girl. Together we own the universe….

“She” is Charlee from SoulCycle. I’ve girl-crushed on Charlee for about two years (it’s lasted longer than my recent ex-boyfriend). I take her class whenever I can, and sit as close to her as possible. These are the only facts I have: She’s a half-Filipino fitness model with wanderlust who once donated bone marrow to save a colleague’s mother. She’s also a crossbreed of Zoe Saldana and a litter of purring sex kittens. She seems tough, yet fully aware of her lusty aura, and not afraid to flaunt it for the sake of fitness. She literally seduces you into cycling your guts out.

I am mostly enamored by her long, tussled hair, which, in the beginning of class, she lets hang in her face like some badass indie rocker. As the beat gets stronger and the ride gets harder, she pulls it up into the most perfectly-messy pony. Alexander Wang himself couldn’t design a more sporty-sultry creation.

Now, I too commence class with my long layers falling heavy in my face. As the music reverberates in my bones, I rock out with my hips back and hair wild, just like her. I don’t think Jonah Hill appreciated it when he sat next to me, but who cares, right? We do the best with what we have, and I have Charlee plus a frizz-free Keratin treatment.

Unlike a lot of approval-seeking instructors, there’s no thick layer of charm, no favoritism, no post-class mimosas. Charlee runs a tight class but keeps her personality to herself; I don’t know how she dresses; I don’t know who she dates. She’s mysterious, autonomous and semi-detached—which makes me like her even more. It’s also why, after a dozen or so classes, I still haven’t introduced myself to her. Part of me wants to keep chasing that attention—it makes me ride harder and stronger each time. I also kinda want her to live as a vague fantasy, not some East Village drifter with a peanut allergy and commitment issues (which of course, I made that up).

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Confession: Charlee is not my first girl-crush at SoulCycle. I’m an OG rider who has been going for eight years. My first class ever was with Stacey Griffith (a Soul legend), who is basically the fitness version of Helen of Troy—she’s the woman who launched a thousand stationary bikes.

Back then, my body was a work in progress, and I was mostly fine with it. My fascination with Stacey, however, got me obsessed with indoor cycling. Unlike hard-to-get Charlee, Stacey would engage with my quiet flirtations. Stacey would come to my bike and turn it up six notches. I don’t know if it was the “cool girl validation” (because Stacey is cool), the thrill of being near her, or if I was indeed having “bicurious” urges (I’m straight), but I literally felt like I could fly in those classes. After a few months, my body was smaller, tighter, and I barely realized I’d been exercising. I’ve held on to that standard of fitness ever since.

After a few years, Stacey became too popular. I couldn’t get into her classes anymore, and she had far too many worshippers for me to even remotely compete. But I learned that a girl-crush at the gym is motivating. Scoring a class with Charlee, with her anything flies, under-the-radar attitude is one of the reasons I still ride.

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Would the crush + challenge = success equation work with a male instructor? I don’t think so. I’ve always believed that having worshipful-like feelings towards women is healthy. I don’t have any girlfriends who I don’t deeply admire for one reason or another. And the whole “What Would Gwyneth Do” thing? It’s smarter than it sounds. When my book came out, my fear of public speaking paralyzed me at readings and signings. To attempt to get better, I watched YouTube clips of my favorite female authors speaking on podiums, mimicking their confidence and grace. At my future events, I’d channel these women (What would Erica Jong do?), and that saved me.

But back to that moan. It was the only interpersonal connection I ever had with Charlee, and it made me feel like I could ride straight to the moon. After I dismounted my bike, I realized Christy Turlington was perched directly behind me. Oh my God. Was Charlee looking at her, not me?! I dismissed the thought immediately. I went home—and came back the next day—knowing she gave ME that rose. Because if SoulCycle teaches you anything, it’s that our mind is our strongest muscle.

(Photos: Instagram @charleeatkins)

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