Mom's Pregnancy 'Nightmare:' Forced Out of Work, Shamed by Bosses

Image: Marly Gallardo for Yahoo Beauty

Leading up to the Nov. 8 presidential election, Yahoo Beauty is letting people across America people tell their stories — good and bad — of taking family leave in America. As the U.S. is the only country in the developed world without guaranteed paid family leave — maternity, paternity, and elder care — we wanted to put a spotlight on real Americans’ issues that will be affected by the next administration.

When this fashion industry employee got pregnant, she was completely unprepared for her boss’s negative reaction. And then it happened again.

—As told to Korin Miller

I was on a business trip with my boss when I first realized I might be pregnant. My husband and I had just started trying for a baby — and all of the sudden, I was having morning sickness.

When my boss realized I was sick, she put things together — and her reaction wasn’t nice. “F*** me, you’re pregnant,” she said. “I know you are. What a nightmare.” She said it in kind of a “ha ha” joking way, but the girl who was hired before me had gotten pregnant and left right after she had a baby, thanks to my boss’s behavior, so I knew she wasn’t thrilled about the idea of pregnancy.

However, it seemed like she had learned her lesson, and she pretty much kept her mouth shut, other than those early comments … for a while. My work life went back to normal, but things got weird when I got into my third trimester. At that point, my boss sat me down and said, “I’m legally required to give you six weeks leave, so I’m going to. I don’t have to pay you, but I’m going to because I’m a good person.” (New York state, where I lived at the time, doesn’t have a maternity leave law, but male and female workers are entitled to request up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave per year to care for a newborn. However, the Family and Medical Leave Act, FMLA, says employers must hold your job for six weeks.)

I thought that was an odd thing to say, but I was happy I’d be getting paid.

I also got really big in my third trimester, and that’s when the atmosphere at work became horrible. I was still physically able to do the same things as before, but my boss wouldn’t let me — and two weeks before my due date, she became downright mean. I came in one day and she said, “You’re so big, it’s gross.” I didn’t know how to react, so I just said “OK…” and got to work. Then, she started talking about how freaked out she was by the idea that my water might break at work and asked me how I would clean it up if it did.

Prior to my pregnancy, I had a great relationship with this woman, so it really took me aback. The next day, she said my pregnancy was making her uncomfortable and I needed to go home — she didn’t want anything to do with any of the actual baby business. When it became an inconvenience that she couldn’t ignore, she wanted me away from her.

I didn’t know what to do, so I went home. I knew that she felt like she was doing me this huge favor by still paying me, and obviously I wanted to keep my job, so I did it. I tried to work from home but she pretty much shut me off, and I ended up having the baby about a week and a half later.

I was gone for six weeks of maternity leave, and when I came back, my boss’s attitude toward me was incredibly negative. She had also altered the business so that my work was minimized — a girl who had been hired at a level below me was suddenly my superior. I worked on commission and suddenly didn’t have opportunities to generate revenue. My boss had taken it out of my hands.

I stayed for another seven months to try to make it work. My husband had been laid off around the time I went back, so I couldn’t afford to just leave. But eventually, I handed in my resignation. My boss was grateful — she thanked me.

I left for another job and eventually got pregnant again. I was a little bit nervous to tell my boss my news, but I was also more prepared than last time because I knew what could and couldn’t happen from a legal standpoint. My boss was pretty cool about it. No one else in the office really knew how to do my job, so I felt confident that I wouldn’t be replaced.

But in the third trimester, my boss called me into his office and said, “I looked it up and I know I have to give you six weeks off, but I don’t have to pay you so I’m not going to.” He also said I would have to pay him for my insurance if I wanted to continue to be covered while I was out. I was shocked.

Luckily, soon after, the accounts payable woman in the office pulled me aside and said she was going to pay me and cover my insurance anyway — she knew our boss would never notice.

I had a lot of pain and difficulty late in my third trimester and ended up leaving work two weeks before my baby was born. My boss called four weeks later and said, “Your six weeks is up. Why aren’t you at work?” I was shocked but wasn’t going to budge. I ended up agreeing to work from home and he let that be. When I came back to work, it went straight back to business as usual.

When it comes to maternity leave as a whole, I think it’s messed up that companies don’t have to pay you. I get that business owners don’t want to pay you when you’re not working, but in both situations, I was a really dedicated, successful employee who had leadership roles and generated revenue.

I’ve always been liberal, and I think, in general, Democrats tend to be more in favor of rights in the workplace. But I think being a mom impacted my politics even more. There are rights that I require to live my life — and the same is true for other parents. It’s a shame that we’re not currently granted them.

Things would be different — or the same — for this mom under leave policies proposed by Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. If Trump’s plan calls for six weeks of paid maternity leave for mothers who don’t already receive paid leave from their employer. Under Clinton, however, she would receive 12 weeks of paid leave — and her husband would, too — at a minimum of two-thirds of their salaries.

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