By Josh Duboff. Photos: Getty Images.
If there is anything we can count on Goop for, at this point, it is their attempting to play with our expectations. Gwyneth Paltrow has a canny understanding of what we have come to expect from Goop and how we perceive the company, so when she promotes an absurdly expensive eucalyptus soap or puts out a “risqué” issue on sex, she does so with a wink. So, yes, it’s likely with a knowing smirk that she presents us, via her Goop newsletter this week, with a guide to . . . fast food options.
“We are also realists who know that sometimes . . . we’re going to eat fast food,” Goop explains, and they pledge to present, but of course, the cleanest and healthiest fast-food options. Which chains were considered the most Goop-friendly? Well, tuck a biodegradable, quinoa-scented (just go with it) napkin in your shirt, spray yourself with the new Goop fragrance, and read on . . .
Chiptole, Wendy’s, and Subway, were considered the best, thanks to their salad options. (Goop approves of adding guacamole at Chipotle, so there’s that, at least.) At Wendy’s, they suggest the Power Mediterranean Chicken Salad. And at Subway, “any sandwich can be turned into a salad,” which . . . is true. Goop says Starbucks (go for the egg bites and rice salad bowl) and Panda Express (ask for no sauce on your chicken) are also decent options.
The brands that Goop deems to have very few options in the realm of the healthy: KFC, Dairy Queen, Arby’s, and Dunkin’ Donuts. So next time you indulge in a frosted doughnut from Dunkin’ Donuts, imagine Paltrow giving you a wry look that seems to say, “I get it, but also I know you can do better.”
This story originally appeared on Vanity Fair.
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