15 Things Nobody Ever Tells You About Depression
Despite well-meaning friends and family, no one really knows what it's like to live with depression until they've experienced it themselves. The invisible illness is often hard to pinpoint, even by those suffering from it. If you are diagnosed, the lingering stigma surrounding mental illness can make it difficult to talk about. That's probably why a recent Reddit thread on depression, which asked about the less obvious side of the disorder, garnered such a response-the anonymity of the internet provides a safe space for frank discussion. Here's how a dozen Reddit users answered the question, "What does nobody tell you about depression?"
1. You don't have to be sad to be depressed.
In fact, you may not feel anything. "It's not that you're sad all the time, it's more like there is no emotion in anything. No joy, no excitement...nothing," writes righteous_poo.
2. "Anxiety often comes as a package deal." - Starstuff8
3. You can gauge your mental state by the stacks of unopened mail.
Depression makes even simple tasks feel insurmountable."The depression gets in my head and tells me that everyone else feels this way too, it's just that everyone else isn't [so lazy]," shares Chewcocca.
4. It can look like laziness from the outside.
"The lack of motivation I suffer on a regular basis gets put down to laziness by colleagues and family more often than not. This further enforces the self-defeating feelings I have about almost everything I try do," writes Melzeebub92.
5. It physically hurts.
"Sometimes you have to go somewhere to be alone to have a sob and your chest will tighten up and you will be in physical pain until you let it pass," writes Unholynik.
6. Even the slightest activity leaves you feeling exhausted.
"You will be tired all the time, no matter how little you do," shares mochi_chan.
7. But you won't be able to sleep.
Yes, some depressed people snooze for 12 hours a day, but others find a good night's rest incredibly elusive. "I lie there wishing I could sleep, begging to sleep, and sleep rarely comes," writes angelofsecrets.
8. You forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence.
"It seriously [affects] your memory. I'll walk by the sink and see the dishes think "I'll do those in a minute" and within five minutes I literally forget that the dishes need to be done," writes Xsirenitix
9. Your personal hygiene takes a backseat.
"I can go days without brushing my hair, my teeth, or having a shower. Same goes with wearing dirty clothes," writes ilovegofry. "When I'm feeling fine, I can't fathom going a day without having a long shower."
10. You feel guilty for things that aren't your fault.
"I used to feel guilty because I didn't want to leave the house, and on top of everything else I felt like I was letting people down," Delanium shares.
11. It's not always rainclouds and roadkill.
"There are good times, sometimes are a lot better than others [but that] doesn't mean the depression is magically gone," writes QueenofCrystals.
12. Feeling better requires lots of hard work.
"More often than not, it doesn't 'get better,'" writes Stove_The_Appliance. "You just get better at keeping things under control. Medication and therapy only help so much-the biggest changes are the ones that you make for yourself."
13. Just because you're not suicidal doesn't mean you want to live.
stupidaesthetic describes depression as "kind of existing with the thought process of 'I could kick the bucket right this second and that'd be fine.'" (If, however, you are feeling suicidal, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 immediately. It's available 24 hours a day, every day.)
14. Your thoughts don't define you.
"For a long time I thought that these thoughts were me," writes Chewcocca. "I couldn't differentiate between 'depression thoughts' and my own mind and identity, and so I didn't even realize that I could choose not to believe them."
15. You are not alone.
Depression is an isolating disease-one that even well-meaning friends and family don't always understand-but it's important to remember that you're not alone. Depression affects more than 14 million Americans, or about 6.7 percent of the U.S. population.
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