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When it's clear your car is on its last legs you could send it off for crushing. Or you could have some fun. Here are ten techniques chosen by Jalopnik readers for disposing of your vehicle with a bit more flair than your junkyard can provide.
Welcome back to Answers of the Day — our daily Jalopnik feature where we take the best ten responses from the previous day's Question of the Day and shine it up to show off. It's by you and for you, the Jalopnik readers. Enjoy!
10.) Throw it in an industrial strength shredder
Suggested By: hexagonist
Why it's right for your vehicle: You could just hand your car over to the junkyard to be recycled, but you know your car deserves a more honorable death. Well, if you watch your car get churned into tiny little scraps by massive, all-consuming metal teeth, you'd agree that shredding is not very honorable. But if you hate that old car, it's a very satisfying form of destruction.
9.) Cannibalize it
Suggested By: IgotsmeaMetro
Why it's right for your vehicle: If you have multiple old cars in your driveway/garage/yard, you don't have the luxury of ripping the oldest one to shreds. Strip it of all its working parts and fit them to your other vehicles so that your fleet may live longer.
Photo Credit: Drew Stephens
8.) Melt it with a jet car
Suggested By: hexagonist
Why it's right for your vehicle: Finding a jet car could be difficult. You'll need to get to a county fair, unless the local squad of F-15s has some extra jet fuel they want to burn. Disposing of the charred remains of the vehicle will be a pain, but it'll be worth it to watch a stream of fire consume your hateful old hoopty.
7.) Incinerate it with a minigun
Suggested By: becaus3Porsche
Why it's right for your vehicle: This method is a little tricky, in that you'll likely need both a helicopter and a working minigun. If you don't already have them at your disposal, getting access will be difficult. That said, raining down burning destruction on your tired old car is worth the effort.
6.) Blow it up with a 25mm
Suggested By: hexagonist
Why it's right for your vehicle: It's much easier to get your hands on a 25mm chain gun, as they're basically standard equipment for Bradley fighting vehicles. In this video, you can see how some extra rounds can cause a junked car in the Iraq desert to actually explode.
5.) Enter it into a demolition derby
Suggested By: RickAKATed10
Why it's right for your vehicle: If the car you need to kill is still able to move under its own power, take it to a demolition derby. The experienced drivers will gang up on your relatively clean, fresh-looking vehicle, and they will promptly bash it to bits for you. It's not just a helpful service, it's good fun.
Photo Credit: Allison Kade
4.) Disintegrate it with thermite
Suggested By: Vlan1
Why it's right for your vehicle: Thermite is a combustible mixture of metal powder and metal oxide. Sparked by high heat (you could use a fuse, or perhaps a sparkler on a very, very, very long pole) thermite breaks down by a chemical reaction, producing extreme heat and pure liquid iron.
Cover your entire car with thermite, light it, and watch the whole car melt away into a searing pile of metal.
3.) Donate it to a learning institution
Suggested By: Harry
Why it's right for your vehicle: Destroying your car is well and good, but you could also donate it to a school or college, where a class could either learn how to fix the car back up, or transform it into something much more interesting.
A professor at the University of South Carolina turned his old 1972 MGB over to his class, who converted the car to an electric vehicle. It was a great project, and a lot better than letting the car rust away in a junkyard.
Photo Credit: Autoblog Green/University of South Carolina
2.) Race it in the 24 Hours of LeMons
Suggested By: Jebus
Why it's right for your vehicle: You might not know it, but there's a 24 Hours of LeMons race somewhere near you. So long as you can convince the judges that your car is worth leass than $500 (it shouldn't be hard), and if you're prepared to throw a few thousand dollars at prepping a cage, getting tires, and flushing the twenty-year-old fluids and rats out of the car, you're free to enjoy a full day of racing.
Any junker race series will do –- the important thing is that you thrash your car until it goes from nearly running to most definitely never functioning as a form of transportation again.
1.) Hoon it to death
Suggested By: tonyv6908
Why it's right for your vehicle: Your car deserves a valiant death. Let it die serving its master like a faithful steed. Take it out onto some dirt roads. Redline every shift. Take every jump. Crash it into walls. See if it will still drive if you take off all the tires. See how much faster it will go without all of the seats, the doors, the trunk, the hood, the AC, and whatever else you can tear apart. Drive it to the ground.
With all of these suggestions make sure to follow local laws, wear safety equipment, use common sense, and make proper sacrifice to your local Hoon gods.