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1974 Ford Mustang II: The Car Every Naughty Driver Should Get

Santa knows what he’s doing when he doles out gifts. If you’ve been a loudmouth, sniveling little heathen, he’s going to drop enough coal in your stocking to fuel the B&M railroad. If you’ve been good, then he will bestow upon you all that you want, but wanting something isn’t so cut and dry.

There is the “oh I know I’ve wanted this” wanted something, and there is the “I want an item that embodies all of these attributes” wanting something and not knowing exactly what that is. Thankfully, the choice of “least-desired” is a little more cut-and-dry. There are some cars that absolutely no one wants to drive. If you have not been behaving this year, take heed to my warning, as you may find this terrible ride in your garage come Christmas day:

The Ford Mustang II

1974 Ford Mustang II: The Car Every Naughty Driver Should Get

Good god, what a terrible car. In the 70s there were a lot of bad things going on in the automotive world. The oil embargo created a situation where automakers were opting for more fuel efficient cars, but they still had to offer performance models. In 1974, this box of fun came out, and was based on the Ford Pinto.

I mean really! The Ford Pinto was a bad car, yes, but what made the Mustang II so awful was the disparity between the expectations of customers and the actual car. Available engines were a 2.3-liter I4, a 2.8-liter V6, and a 4.9-liter V8. You better believe that if you’ve been naughty, you’re getting the model with the anemic four cylinder, but really– they’re all bad.

PHOTOS: See More of the Ford Mustang