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Behold the most epic Craigslist ad ever crafted for steel wheels

Motoramic

Behold the most epic Craigslist ad ever crafted for steel wheels

Being the kind of man he is, our pal Ezra Dyer didn't just post a few pics and a single paragraph on Craigslist when he wanted to sell the spare steel wheels of his Ford Bronco. He chose to enter the gladiator ring of overwrought classified-ad writing and emerged a beknighted champion, thanks to prose like this:

What I'm offering you is tantamount to larceny. And not the petty kind. This is grand theft. Black steel wheels in this size usually sell for $60 to $80 each, and I'm asking $80 for all four.

Why, you ask? Well, the Buddhists have a word called "nekkhamma" that loosely translates as "renunciation" — the forgoing of that which incites lust and therefore impedes enlightenment. I'm not into that. It just happens to be your good fortune that I need $80 to put toward the calf implant I have on layaway. Right now I've just got the left one and I walk in big circles.

Go forth and behold this masterpiece in its entirety. Bring your G-suit and Rolling Stones records.