The $96,867 bottle of car wax that your ride doesn’t deserve

March 12, 2013

If you're the kind of person who dreams of winning the lottery, immediately buying a Bugatti and moving to whatever state allows you a license plate with some form of "treat yo self," there's another detail to add to your fantasy. Courtesy of a Scotland boutique car-care firm comes what has to be the world's most expensive car wax at $96,867 per bottle. It's not about just making your car shiny. It's about the experience of paying excessive amounts of money to make your car shiny.

Created by Mitchell & King, a firm known for custom blending waxes for high-end cars and, according to their own materials, the first car wax with glitter, the wax was formulated in honor of the upcoming GoldRush Rally, that mini-Cannonball Run for wealth-flaunters. Along with shampoo and scent, Mitchell & King package the wax — which they claim works for up to 4 months — in a 24-karat gold jar encrusted with sparkles, not unlike the souls of its potential customers.

As spied by Born Rich, the price includes not just the goods, but personal delivery of the polish by the company's chief executive. And in its marketing, Mitchell & King do offer one warning: that the treasure wax is "exceptionally exclusive and we reserve the right to refuse purchase." That's right; not only does this wax cost more than many home mortgages, you have to apply to buy it.

It'd be one thing if this wax were capable of offering protection on par with, say, the fictional bullet-proof coating of the Knight Industries Two Thousand. But Mitchell & King isn't selling function, but form; an idea of having a superlative object, even though it's something so mundane as car polish. It's a way to signify status to one's peers — and for the rest of us, to mark someone who won the lottery and doesn't know how lucky they are.