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    Jennifer Marshall

    Jennifer Marshall

  • Germs Be Gone!!!!!

    You see these little germy b------ s right here?

  • Things I've Learned This Week

    ** There's no calling in sick when you're a mom.

  • Halloween Recap 2011

    Once again one of my very favorite holidays has passed me by faster than I could say, "Boo!" Yes, Halloween has come and gone and left me with a massive candy overdose. I seriously don't think I'll be able to look at a Twix bar the same without puking ever again (at least not until next week anyway)

  • The Sanitary Faux Pas

    In the spirit of sharing embarrassing moments, I thought I'd relive another little doozy with y'all. Cause, really, what good is a humiliating memory if you can't share it with others? This one, however, was TRULY mortifying because it took place during a time in my life when I hadn't yet learned to laugh at myself.

  • Yet Another Reason Why I'm THE Queen of Embarrassing Moments

    I think we've all learned by now that I am THE queen of embarrassing moments. Lord knows I've certainly had way more than my fair share of 'em. And if I hadn't figured out how to laugh at myself a long, long time ago, well, I'd sure as hell be living in a ditch somewhere with a bag over my head by now. Luckily, though, I just dust myself off and move on with the show, which is exactly what I did yesterday on our walk to school when I found myself sitting in a pile of mud in front of a crowd of parents.

  • Things I've Learned This Week

    ** Recovery time from the weekend is much much longer than it used to be.

  • Bad Dog

    So lately, our dog has really been pressing his luck around here. Just when I think I might actually kinda like the big ol' doofus, he goes and does something SO incredibly naughty that I wanna open the front door and allow him to become a street dog. And unfortunately for my mother-in-law, his latest incredibly naughty "something" just so happened to involve the mutilation of her winter coat.

  • The Family Portrait

    It's kinda hard to believe, but the Nucking Futs clan has never ever had a professional family photo taken. Sure, we've had the kids photographed out the yin yang but never with my husband and me. So this past weekend, we decided to take advantage of the unbelievably gorgeous fall weather and round

  • Addicted to Playdates

    Is there a playdate addiction group somewhere? If so, then I'm totally sending these kids of mine. I'm tellin' you, these two short people are beyond obsessed with playdates all day, every day. Now some days, that can be a good thing (like when the playdate's at someone else's house, for example), b

  • It's The End Of The Brain As We Know It

    This is parenting:

  • What If I Threw The Tantrum For A Change?

    I don't know about you, but sometimes, I can't help but laugh my buns off when my kids are throwing an all-out fit. They just look so incredibly ridiculous to me as they're wailing and screaming and flailing themselves about the floor. In fact, I've even videotaped one of my daughter's tantrums to show her just what an a---- looks like in action. Of course, she doesn't find it quite as humorous as I do, but whatever. To really prove a point, though, I wonder if I should just start pitching fits of my own over stupid things in my adult world:

  • Charrrrrrrrrrrge!!!!

    If you've been following my blog for any length of time, you know by now that Goatdog and I have a love/hate relationship. Sure, he may look cute and all, but don't let that fool ya for even one little second:

  • The Oscillating Fan Fascination

    What? You mean you don't have a son who likes to shop at Bed, Bath & Beyond? Really? Well, believe it or not, mine does. Perhaps it's because he's the type of kid, bless his unique little heart, who gets fixated on totally random objects. Lord knows why, but his latest fascination is a black, plastic clip-on fan, which he apparently saw on a recent laundry basket buying excursion.

  • Sari and Her Ray of Sunshine

    There are certain people you come across in life who just always make you smile. They are able to see the glass as half full and bring positivity wherever they go -- kinda like a ray of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day. You can't help but to admire and respect these people cause they make you wan

  • Suburban Roller Coaster

    As overly cautious as we are about protecting our children these days, it's a wonder any of us survived our own childhoods of yesteryear. Heck, many of us probably rode home from the hospital on our moms' laps IN THE FRONT SEAT OF THE CAR (without a seat belt, no doubt)!! All this fragility makes me wonder if our kids are missing out on some of the good old-fashioned fun that we got to experience way back when.

  • The Ken Necklace

    To some people, this necklace might look like something the Malibu Barbie serial killer would wear. But to MY group of friends? Well, this fine piece of craftsmanship is something to be treasured -- at least until you anonymously pass it along to the next unsuspecting girl.

  • Somebody's Gotta Be The Bad Cop

    It's a dirty job, but, unfortunately, somebody's gotta do it. And this weekend? Well, I was the one who got stuck being the bad cop. Cause short people lying straight to my face is just not something that I take too lightly.

  • Guilt -- It's A b---- Alright

    Kids sure have a way of (figuratively) punching you right in the gut when you least expect it, don't they? Their unassuming words can wash a blanket of guilt right over you in nothing flat. And before you know it, you're feeling like the suckiest parent in the world and saving your pennies for the future therapy that your kid will inevitably need thanks to you.

  • The Unfortunate Trash Can Fiasco

    When you're a dog owner, like it or not, scooping the poop kinda just goes with the territory -- at least it's supposed to anyway. And unlike some of the other yahoos around here, I would personally never leave a steaming pile of lawn sausages in my neighbor's front yard. It's just not the neighborly thing to do. Now do I enjoy picking up a handful of stinky dog dung? Heck no! Nevertheless, though, I gag my way through every s---ty little bit of it cause that's what I signed up for when I brought a four-legged friend into our family.

  • High Fives To My Husband

    Unlike the back-assward days of the 1950s, I, for one, do not always believe that Father knows best. However, as much as it might pain me, I've gotta give credit where credit is due. And sometimes, every once in a blue moon, my husband actually comes up with a semi-brilliant parenting strategy.