K
    Kristen

    Kristen

  • All You Need is Love?

    Sorry Beatles, I beg to differ on this one. I feel like we are conditioned and brainwashed about the idea of love. The struggle lies in finding "the one" but no one talks about the struggle once you do. I grew up believing that once you found your mate, that's it. That what the real struggle was finding someone that you have that real connection with. I spent a lot of time upset at the fact that I just wasn't finding someone that I clicked with. I would truly want to like someone, but the connection wasn't there. ...

  • The Battle Between My Mind and My Heart

    There's a war going on between my heart and my mind. You see, my mind KNOWS what to do, but my heart can't feel it. They can't seem to communicate well with one another. My sleep has been affected by this vicious battle. It's the worst at night.My heart begs eagerly to fall into the sweet memories I use to have with him. I was so happy. But my mind is at a constant struggle with my heart , fighting for me not to go down that "dark path." I mean, I give my mind some credit, it's only looking out for my well being. I shouldn't been living in a memory anyway. It's not "healthy" as they say. ...

  • User Post: Googling Ways to Move On!?

    Am I really awake right now...Googling phrases like "Ways to move on" ...."Steps in letting go..." "How to forgive" TWO YEARS LATER AFTER A BREAKUP!? Okay.. after a few minutes of doing this, I felt ashamed...rather embarrassed of myself. I can't believe I have gotten to this point. Am I so desperate to move on, that I have officially resorted to Google to help me!? Well maybe I'm not alone. <br> <br> I mean...how do you actually "forgive" someone. Are there some magical words? Do you trick yourself into believing you've moved on? I don't get it. I thought I had already reached the point where I accepted the fact that my first love was unfaithful. I went through all the emotions: sad...angry...depressed...sad again- BUT then finally came to grips with it. <br> <br> <br> I had learned from it, accepted it, and told myself I had finally moved on! But wait.... why do I feel like I'm back at square one? Maybe I never even got out of square one? I don't understand...I followed all the right advice, read all the famous break-up books and truly believed I had conquered the hurt of betrayal. But in all honesty, I'm SO scared to find that.....maybe I haven't. <br> <br> When I first found out about my best friend and (ex) boyfriend...I was obviously crushed. But I made sure to keep any dignity I had left and keep it on the low. I kept quiet and stuck close to my good friends and family for support and advice. Don't get me wrong, I received so much love and support from them but now I question...did I miss a step in the recovery process? <br> <br> I talked about it, I cried about it, I SCREAMED to high heavens about it... but soon realized I needed to stop whining to my friends about a situation that just wasn't going to change. So one day, <b>I</b> <b>stopped</b>. I adopted the mentality "out of sight out of mind" and quickly my friends and family knew to not speak about them to me. Just like the books and advice column tells us all to do- just pick yourself up and get on with it!! <br> <br> Maybe thats the flaw in my recovery process. I stopped talking about it before I had accepted it. I cut off a lot of the emotions that were still harvesting inside. I just wanted to stop bugging people about what had happened...so I hid my honest feelings under a rock for so long but made myself believe that I let go. <br> <br> Months went by...then marked a year...and now marks the second year since everything happened ( and yes they are still together). I've lived my life, gone on dates, met amazing people. went on lovely vacations, spent quality time with the people I love and really have experienced such great things in the last two years. I really mean that. <br> <br> But I find myself so angry that I just can't let go. I want SO badly...with EVERYTHING in me..to forgive them. I guess it is hard to forgive someone who simply...just isn't sorry for what they did. And I have to accept that. Sometimes we just don't get the answer to Why? And just have to deal. That's it. No book, no advice column, no "10 Ways to Bounce Back" will ever give us that brutal realistic answer. IT JUST IS, I realize now that I did miss a step in my recovery process that has brought me back here. I stopped talking about it before I was ready. <br> <br> And until all that anger, bitterness and resentment is 100 % out of you- Cry about it, Yell About it, Talk about it....do it as long and as much as you need to<b><br></b><b><br></b><b><br></b> <b>For the love of God let it ALL out before you choose to pick yourself up and get on with life.</b> <br> <br> <br> And that's it folks. <br> <br> <br> <span>"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, (protecting its sanity), covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But, it is never gone." -Rose Kennedy</span>

  • The Dangers of a "Bromance"

    <p> As Urban Dictionary describes it, bromance "describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males..." or " going to unusual lengths in an attempt to become closer with another male friend. " <br> <br> <br> <br> Don't get me wrong, I think it is great for guys to have their own friends and that guy time...but when is it too much? I started questioning bromances when I started to notice a pattern of how dangerous they can be. My friend Sarah has been dating this guy, Brian ,for over a year now and they have a really great relationship....besides one thing. Brian's best friend, James, is apparently a huge influence on him. James parties, smokes weed all day and doesn't really do much with his life. So whenever Brian is around him- he seems to mold into him. Brian, who in reality is truly a great guy, becomes a spitting image of his scummy friend James. He becomes sketchy, won't text/call and flakes out on plans. <br> <br> But whenever Brian is away from his buddy, he is completely normal and is a good boyfriend. My poor friend Sarah has watched herself become a broken record and finding herself becoming nagging. After a night of bromancing with James..she finds herself confused with the relationship. But the very next day when Brian comes around- its completely back to normal and fine! She tries to make Brian understand how he is too easily influenced his friend and how caters to "King James." Of course being a guy, he denies that James has any control over what he does. <i>Seriously</i>!? COME ON! <br> <br> I mean...we have this image and idea that guys are suppose to be strong and able to stand up for themselves...right? Wrong. Why is to so easy for girls to stand up to their friends, do our own thing and not be easily persuaded to do things that our friends are doing? I find it so easy to say "no" to a girlfriend if I don't want to do something...but for some odd reason guys can't. <br> <br> Sarah seems to think everything would be great if James just went away, but she knows realistically he will always be in Brian's life. So does she continue to be this constant broken record, repeating over and over how she feels about their little "bromance" ...or does she break it off? She fears breaking it off because she KNOWS how good it is when James isn't around. Does anyone have the same issue going on with their guy? <br> <br> What is your advice?! </p>

  • A user asks: What Happens When "What Comes Around Goes Around"...Doesn't Go Around?

    Oh- we have all heard the story before. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy cheats on girl. Boy leaves girl wounded and destroyed. Friends pick up the pieces and reassure our wounded friend that he will get what he deserves... They both will get "KARMA" As we might put it....right? But what happens when