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    Nzingha West

    Nzingha West

  • Looking for a Really Good Business to Buy From?

    Nzingha West is an Educator and Small business expert living in New York City. Look out for Nzingha's new business show soon. www.nzinghawest.com

  • Why Childhood Bullying is Necessary and Important for Growth

    <br> We've all been bullied at some point in our lives, and for those who have had the opportunity to talk about it, you quickly learn that you are not alone, nor are you immune. However, for those of us who have been bullied, and are lucky enough not to harbor any ill will, or destructive feelings, we know that if addressed early, bullying can be stopped. Bullying is useful because it gives children and their families a way to learn, defend, and push forward. Simply put, bullying is an important part of development. We bully ourselves all the time. Raise your hand if you've ever felt fat, or ugly, or too short, or too tall etc. These are destructive things we tell ourselves, the only real difference is that a bully has to gall to say it out loud. Don't get me wrong, I am by no means saying that bullying is OK. As long as we continue to discuss bullying and effectively neglecting what it has the opportunity to do to one's self esteem in a positive light, we are continuing to tell only one side of the story. <br> <br> Here are 5 reasons why bullying can be useful: <br> <b>1. Bullying helps children grow thick skin:</b> <br> Simply put, as parents, it is your job to teach your children what you know, and build up their self confidence. You should tell your children that they are beautiful and smart and thoughtful and amazing. The reality of this is, when people are told this all the time, they aren't really exposed to what the world is like. A bully will impose some sense of reality into a situation. A bully is a person who teaches you that you aren't perfect, and that you have flaws. <br> <br> <b>2. Bullying builds confidence if dealt with immediately:</b> <br> There are lots of commercials that deal with internet bullying, and to be honest, it's just a sign of the times. When someone is picking on your child, it gives you an opportunity to flex your parenting muscle and deal with it immediately. It also opens the door to discussion. If your child is not feeling confident, now is one of the best times to start telling them how great, amazing or wonderful they are. <br> <br> <b>3. Bullying helps children create a sense of self-awareness:</b> <br> Let's say, for instance, you have a child who hates taking baths, so one of two times per week, you let that child skip his/her bath session. If the child has a stain on his face, one of his friends might say "Ewww, you didn't shower, you still have sloppy joe on your face from lunch yesterday, you're dirty", that one comment could catapult that child into the shower everyday. Although this is considered bullying, the result is a cleaner child, and because of the positive effect of the negative comment, the bully now has nothing to say. <br> <br> <b>4.Bullying helps children learn to defend themselves:</b> <br> If your child has a bully who gets physical with them; even if you teach your child not to fight, eventually that child will fight back because he/she will get tired of being hit. The psychological benefit for a bully is to pick on people that he/she feels is weaker than them, because there is no real challenge. The perceived weakness can be because the bully sees that the child is smaller, or emotionally fragile. Bullies rarely pick on a child who will fight back, or who will insult them too. Once your child defends himself/herself, the bully will find another target. <br> <br> <b>5. Children eventually learn that bulling is a way to deflect negative attention:</b> <br> Many times what we realize, but don't act on, is the real reason for the bullying. Is that child (the bully) receiving attention at home; positive attention? Is that child having difficulty in school? What is going on with the bully? When you combat the problem that the bully is having, you can find a way to resolve the poor behavior. <br> <br> Lastly, bullying sets that child up for dealing with disappointment. In life, things happen. Some of the most well rounded adults are the ones whose parents allowed them to be involved in decision making. Their parents allowed them the courtesy of being aware of what was happening at home, and that gave them a voice, and a sense of importance. You obviously don't have to have your children involved in the investing practices of the home, or balancing the checkbook, but small decisions are good for the self-esteem of the children. <br> Overall, discussing only the causes of bullying is exhausting. It should be realized that all experiences in life are experiences that help mold and teach our children. Bullying is no different. <br> <br> <br> Nzingha West is a special education specialist living in New York City. She provides instruction, diagnostic testing and special education advocacy work through her private practice Urbane Academics. Nzingha is also the author of "Is My Kid Stupid? Avoiding an Educational Disaster". <br> *photo credit dailymail.co.uk

  • Reversing Your Child's Promotion in Doubt

    If your child is on schedule to be held back in the same grade, you are probably devastated and so is your child. Fortunately, with some careful planning and negotiation with the school, you may be able to reverse your child's promotion in doubt and have him/her start the school year in the correct