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    Steven Petrow

    Steven Petrow

  • Straight Talk: Guess Whose Views Are Coming to Dinner?

    Question: "We're planning a dinner party next month when my partner's gay cousin comes to town. The two of them have had a lot of fun being "the lesbian cuzzes" in their very traditional family, but a recent email from her has me worried. She's gone all Tea Party on us. I'm personally appalled, but I'm even more worried that our dinner table will become a battleground, as all the other guests are outspoken, liberal gay friends of ours. How do I head off a blowup?" Answer: The fine art of hosting a successful dinner party starts with a smart invite list. ...

  • Straight Talk: Remedies for Loneliness

    "I'm a 22-year-old, gay, Afro-Caribbean man living in the U.S. Virgin Islands, and I'm at my wits' end in trying to find friendship and companionship. How do I cope with this loneliness?

  • StraightTalk: How to Deal with a Homophobic Restaurant Confrontation and "Can You Refer to a Lesbian Couple as Mrs. And Mrs?"

    >"My partner and I were in a quiet restaurant trying to have dinner near two straight guys, one of who was carrying on a very loud, endless cell phone conversation. We asked them to keep it down. Then one of them, drunk and obnoxious, came over and tried to pick a fight. He leaned over our table

  • Straight Talk: Will Someone You Know Come Out During This Year’s Gay Pride Celebrations?

    While I was out and about, I heard from a lot of straight folks and got their side of the story – and one thing I heard repeatedly was how confusing and challenging it can be for them when someone they know says, "Yep, I'm gay."

  • Straight Talk: How to Celebrate Father's Day when Your Kid Has Two Moms

    What to do when your kid has two moms – and no dad – and the teacher decides everyone will be making Father’s Day cards? Mr. Manners comes to the rescue.

  • Straight Talk: Friends Don’t Text Friends when They Should Call

    Question: I was having a hard week at work, and on top of that my girlfriend started making noises about our "slowing things down." I really needed to talk, and I called one of my (supposedly) best friends to vent. She didn't pick up, even though I think she was home. And she didn't call back, even though my message was clearly urgent. Instead she sent an email the next day asking what was up. ("How are u? Let's talk.") Isn't it bad manners to return a phone call with an email, especially to a friend in need? I'm pissed.

  • Straight Talk: How to Fight with a Cookie Monster

    Question: I've been reading that the Girl Scouts are taking some big heat from "severe" conservatives like Bob Morris, the Indiana representative, who claims the group is a "radicalized organization" that "sexualizes" young girls and promotes homosexuality. It really got my goat when Morris wrote in an open letter: "Many parents are abandoning the Girl Scouts because they promote homosexual lifestyles," then deriding the organization further because it accepts transgender young people. These ridiculous allegations anger me and I'd like to do something. But what?

  • Straight Talk: When Google Reveals Too Much About You

    Question: I know that just about everybody Googles their dates before going out with them the first time. Unfortunately, when you Google me, the first search result is a photo where I'm showing, how shall I put it, way too much skin. My ex took the photo (we thought it was hot) and later posted it (he was hot under the collar). ...

  • Straight Talk: What to Do About Facebook After a Death

    Question: My partner, Rudy, died about three months ago and I've been in the process of handling of his estate (which, since we couldn't legally marry, has been a nightmare, but that's another story). My question for you isn't about the injustice of antigay inheritance law, though, it's about Rudy's Facebook page. I was thinking of deleting the account soon, but I see that many of our friends continue to post on his wall - almost as though they're talking with him. This actually gives me a lot of comfort ,so now I'm on the fence. ...

  • Straight Talk: When "Merry Christmas" Means "Bless Your Heart"

    Question: Since you write so often about the fact that "language matters," I'm curious whether it's OK to wish friends and colleagues a "Merry Christmas." When some people say it, I sometimes feel that there's a subliminal message of evangelical Christianity with all its trappings, including homophobia. So, is it "Merry Christmas," "Happy Hanukkah," or "Happy Holidays"?

  • The New Gay Wedding: Everything We All Need to Know

    With the legalization of same-sex marriage and civil unions making a steady march from shore to shore (and in between), chances are there's a gay wedding in your future. If that wedding (or commitment ceremony) is your own, congratulations! If it's the wedding of a friend, coworker or family member, congratulations again! Either way, you'll need help getting ready to celebrate the day with grace and style. ...

  • Straight Talk: “When Mom and Dad Don’t Include Your Partner on Their Holiday Card”

    Question: I've been in a relationship and living with my girlfriend for 18 months now. This is the second year my parents haven't addressed their holiday card to the two of us - even though they include my brother's wife and my sister's husband on each of theirs. I don't want to make for any more Yuletide drama than necessary, but what is the best way to tell them I feel slighted and to get them to include her?

  • Straight Talk: Home for the Holidays with My New Boyfriend

    Q: I'm so excited that the holidays are almost here. My friends call me a "Christmas junkie" - that is, when they don't refer to me as "the gay Martha Stewart." Maybe it's because I'm still trying to recreate that perfect Courier & Ives experience. Anyway, here's my question for you (actually two questions): My boyfriend, Houston, and I are going to my parents' home for the holidays, and I haven't come out to them yet. I was thinking that I'd tell them about Houston and me once we're already there, but he isn't so sure that's a great idea. ...

  • Straight Talk: What to Do If the Sandusky Scandal Comes to Thanksgiving

    Q: I was having dinner with some friends last weekend, and of course the subject of the Penn State scandal came up. One of the straight guests was on a rant about it, and said, "This is a perfect example of why gays shouldn't be parents." I was so angry I was afraid to say more than just "that's crap!" The group changed the subject immediately - but I feel as though I missed a chance to teach this ignoramus a thing or two. Is there an appropriate way to talk about issues like these without losing my temper?

  • Straight Talk: How Do I Help My Trans Daughter Be Accepted By Our Family?

    Q: I'm a grandma who with two adult children, one of whom is trans. She was my son and isnow my daughter. My other daughter has two young 'uns - 11 and 13 - and she doesn't want them knowing anything about their new aunt. I think they need to know, if only because we'll all be getting together for t

  • User Post: Straight Talk -- “What’s the deal on the ‘gay-to-straight’ therapy that Michele Bachmann’s husband practices?”

    Q: I've been trying to follow the media coverage about the mental health clinic that Michele Bachmann's husband runs, but I'm not sure what "reparative therapy" is. Can you explain?

  • Straight Talk: “Do we pay for our grown son’s wedding?”

    Q: My husband and I are retired, with two grown children. Our daughter got married 10 years ago, and we paid for most of that wedding - we'd been saving for it since she was born! Now our 36-year-old son is planning a wedding to his partner of many years. We're delighted for them, but we don't know

  • Straight Talk: New York Makes It Six! -- The Top 10 Things You Need to Know About Same-Sex Weddings

    [Updated on June 25th, 2011]

  • Straight Talk: "The Modern Family When a Son Becomes a Sperm Donor"

    Q: My son is in his first year of medical school and some lesbian friends of his want him to help them get pregnant. He's thinking about it, but I'm a wreck. This is my grandchild they're talking about, and I'd never even get to see the kid!

  • Straight Talk: When a daughter changes her gender, does she become a son?

    Q: My friend's daughter now says she's transgender and had surgery to remove her breasts last week. I guess I should have written my friend's "son." Anyway, "he" seems thrilled with his results, but he is still a girl where it counts, so it is very confusing. And does this make him gay, or what?