Aries
A conservative person might resist your recipe for meat-filled brownies. Explain why your suggestion is not really risky, but is in fact the most practical way to go. Your new khakis may pinch this afternoon. This is a good time to start believing in gnomes. Greed and ambition, Aries, will get you what you want in life. A Will Smith vehicle could stimulate you tonight. Let loose by doing something new and different, like visiting the Annals of Improbable Research, a multifarious mish-mash of extremely silly scientific experiments.
Taurus
You've got your work cut out for you today, Tauro. You may find yourself in charge of a new pirate ship. Ideally, you'll be able to calm the fearful, energize the risk takers, and keel-haul the mutineers. Have a very clear plan, and say "Aargh, Mateys!" every five minutes. It's so much easier to lead others when you know where you're going, which you don't, but don't sweat it. You might be in a less cooperative mood later tonight--try crying yourself to sleep. Or visit The Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza, an interactive look at the JFK assassination featuring a live Oswald web cam.
Cancer
A partner or close friend encourages you to take hip hop dance lessons. Step out of the old role, Cancer, and start getting jiggy wit' it. It's a new day. You may feel uncomfortable at first, but that's what change is all about. Trust that you'll learn to understand the hip hop lifestyle and adapt with time. Listen to Snoop Doggy Dogg and sip on a little gin and juice--the tasty cocktail will provide a sense of warmth later this afternoon. After the gin kicks in, check out Pheast for some phat dinner recipes. This adds to your confidence and ability to leave some of your old habits behind while picking up new ones.
Gemini
Your objective for world domination could resurface this morning. You'll likely find a way to convince others of how useful your totalitarianism will be for society. Costs, however, become an issue later this afternoon. Don't be resistant. This will help the situation. You really should check out Brainpop, a web site that is ahead of its time. Interactive and incredibly cool, the kids' site asks thousands of questions and is "guaranteed to blow your mind." The mood shifts later tonight--call up your Cancer friends for a party. It's a time for freedom, experimentation, and lots and lots of gin.
Leo
This afternoon, you will exchange blows with a Sagittarian whose name starts with "M" (Michael? Melvin? Mary Lou?). You will emerge victorious with only minor injuries. However, litigation may follow, so do not give your real name to the police. Your love life will continue to be completely free of any romantic entanglements. Revel in the crushing loneliness. Or break out and visit Love and Learn, where you can read the answers to common relationship questions. Submit your own question if you must, but avoid mentioning your desire to wear wet corduroy in public.
Virgo
Caution: stormy weather ahead! You may have to "butter your own biscuit" until that promotion comes through. If it rains this afternoon, take in a movie. Preferably one starring a talented character actor whose face you recognize but whose name escapes you. Browse Who is That? for possible candidates. Don't see a film with Stephen Tobolowsky (Ned from Groundhog Day). Actors born under Gemini will cause you mild irritation for the foreseeable future.
Libra, Aquarius, Pisces, Scorpio, Capricorn, Sagittarius
Be whimsical with your finances, gang. Buy a pack of gum at the convenience store and pay by check! Time is on your side. Virgos are also on your side, armed to the teeth with the latest sponge-spewing technology from NerfCenter. Check the site and choose your weapon. The Triple Strike is highly regarded among Nerf armaments. Search for balance and you will be rewarded. Later, remember to call your mom and tell her you love her.